What The Water Gave Me
by itsnotaboutlove
Summary: Andrea Pike is a lost soul, running through San Francisco in the middle of the night. She's got nowhere else to go, now that her Daddy is gone. One-shot, S/O of Never Let Me Go; A "What-if?" fic.


The wind stings her face as she runs, her heart racing as her thighs burn. The bridge is longer by foot than by car, she thinks, as her feet hit the ground. Cars zoom by in blurs of colors, but she only sees red. Red for anger and blood. It's all she can see, the color changing her view on everything she's ever loved.

Andrea Pike is a lost soul, running through San Francisco in the middle of the night. She's got nowhere else to go, now that her Daddy is gone. Like Leo said, space is danger; wrapped in darkness and silence. If only she listened to him sooner.

Two weeks earlier, she was out in the black on the _Enterprise, _under the command of her father; Christopher Pike. Then he was boarding a shuttle with Jim and two others, ready to hand himself over to an crazed Romulan.

"_I have to keep you safe. I will not let them take you away from me. You have your whole life ahead of you, and I will not let these bastards take that from you." _

She begged him to stay on the ship with her. They could've done something together to fight Nero off. And if worse came to worse, they could've died together that day. Right above Vulcan and in the cloud of debris that was once a variety of starships and life.

Eighteen years together and now he was gone, lost in the darkness, leaving her behind.

….

Hours after the _Enterprise _returned, limping back slowly, Andrea was met with a wave of sympathy. The _I'm so sorry for your loss _and _your father was a great man, _made her want to scream. The Academy held a memorial for the lives lost, including her fathers, the next day. She left as Admiral Barnett gave a speech about Chris Pike, and how he sacrificed his life for their planet.

By the end of the week, a funeral took place in Santa Monica. It rained that day, as they put an empty casket into the ground. Aunt Kitty and Max flew in to be there, as Andrea's friends showed up for support. It wasn't enough to keep her calm though, as she tore out of the cemetery without looking back.

That night, after everyone left, Andrea sat in her room with Leo.

"_Andy," _he said softly. "_Tell me what you need. I want to help you." _

"_So help me," _she whispered, slightly intoxicated from the whiskey-laced tea she drank all evening. "_Make me forget.." _she gasped against his mouth.

There, in the guest room of the tiny apartment in the officer's block, Andrea tries to forget that she's an orphan. That her Daddy was blown to bits in space and her Mama abandoned her so long ago. It's only during the act of "lovemaking" that Andrea forgets everything, as Leo moves on top of her. He whispers to her as he moves, as she focuses on him.

"_I love you. Let me take care of you, darlin'. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine." _

As soon as it's over and she's wrapped up in his arms, she remembered exactly how she got to that point.. Daddy's dead and he's never coming back. Nothing will ever change that or make her forget. Not even the promises from Leonard McCoy could make her forget.

…..

Andrea clutches the railing as the wind whips her hair about, making her shiver. She steps up and swings one leg over, clutching the metal that holds this death trap together. One leg; up and over the railing. _That's it baby! One leg up and over and you're in the water!" _She sobs at the memory; three years old and learning how to climb into the pool as her Daddy waits in the water. He's younger, his hair more of a sandy blonde than grey, smiling as she jumps into his arms with a squeal.

Now both feet on resting on the other side of the railing, and she slowly turns around to face the bay. She can see the familiar buildings of the Academy in the distance, the lights glowing from the lecture halls and dorms. Right now, her friends are at a party, celebrating the return of her father's ship and it's new captain. Jim Kirk is a good man and the _Enterprise _needs him. He wont let Starfleet or Christopher Pike down, as he takes his ship into the black.

Andrea shakes her head slowly, closing her eyes and she breaths. Nothing matters now; Starfleet, the _Enterprise; _nothing. There is no future for her, despite the promises that Leo gave her. He wants to marry her and have babies with her, treat her like the queen that she deserves to be. A week ago, before all this, she would've said yes to everything he had to offer. She had been in love with him since she was fourteen. But now, she couldn't bear the thought of it. Leo deserved better. His daughter deserved better. How could he love someone who could only lose herself for a brief moment, before falling back into the darkness of her despair?

This was the only way out, as she clutched the railing behind her. Dressed in her best; a beautiful gown that twinkled under the lights of the bridge. Before coming her, Andrea returned to her dorm and left her final words behind.

_I'm sorry. I couldn't do it anymore. Please understand. It's not your fault._

Looking down at the water, Andrea pictured the thing she wanted most, taking form in the memories of her eighteen years of living.

"_Daddy! Daddy! I made this for you! It's you and me and the stars!" _

"_Look at that, Honey Bee! One day you and me will be up there in the stars together, the Captain and his daughter. We'll be a real life adventure story." _

"To the stars," she whispered, before her hands slip away from the railing.

….

It takes a week before they find her body, five miles away from the bridge. It's Jim and Leo, who confirm that it's her in the coroner's office. Leo drinks himself stupid that night and every night afterwards. Jim is too numb to think straight, as the others mourn the loss of their young friend. Nyota cries and cries as Spock holds her, while Pavel hides in his dorm. Sulu works in the botany lab, crossbreeding various plants to keep his hands busy so he doesn't have to break anything. Scotty focuses on the repairs for the _Enterprise, _trying to escape the horrible images of Andrea; dead and in the early stages of decay from being in the water. It's too much for him to deal with. For any of them to deal with.

By the end of the month, the bridge crew had been to more funerals in their life than they'd expected. Andrea is laid to rest in a grave next to her father, the years of her life carved into the white tombstone. They decorate her grave with flowers, and small trinkets. Their little fireball is gone, burnt out after a short span of time.

They leave one by one, whispering their goodbyes to the Princess of the Night Sky. Finally, it's Leo who's the last one to leave. He stares at the headstone, an array of emotions flooding him. Anger, sadness, despair, pain, loneliness, failure. He's so angry with himself for not trying harder to save her, to pull her out of the darkness. And he's also angry with her for running away and leaving him. That he wasn't enough for her to keep living in this life with him.

"_Dammit Andy_," he tries to keep the tears back, but fails. _"Dammit."_

He turns on his heel and quickly moves down the hill and down towards Jim, who waits for him by the car. He doesn't return to the cemetery until six months before he dies, eighty-five years later. It's at that moment, as he sinks to the ground on his old and worn out knees, that he cries and says how he really feels.

"_I've hated you for so long_," he sobs. "_We could've had a life together and you left me, taking all the hopes and dreams with you. But no matter how much I hated you, I still loved you. I just hope you're waiting for me on the other side, darlin'_."

…

They reunite almost instantly, as her body hits the water. It's an odd sensation, as she's ripped from the living and thrown into the afterlife. He's waiting for her when she arrives, drenched and shivering.

"_Why did you do it?" _ he asks, as she looks at him with wide eyes. _"You had your whole life ahead of you, Honey Bee."_

He's wearing his uniform, command gold and black trousers, looking exactly the same as she last saw him. Before he flew that shuttle into the sky and into the hands of death.

"_I tried to live without you," _she shook her head. "_But I couldn't do it. I couldn't bear a second without you." _

He smiles sadly at her, as she cries. Holding his arms out, Andrea rushes to him and wraps herself around him. He's solid and warm, holding her tightly against him.

"_Shhh," _he kisses her forehead. "_I've got you. I won't let you go." _

"_I've missed you so much," _she says. "_It's only been two weeks but it feels like forever." _

"_I didn't want to leave you," _he hugs her tightly to him. "_But I didn't have a choice. I wish I tried harder to get back to you."_

Andrea looks up at him and shakes her head, "_But we're together now and that's all that matters." _

He nods, "_Are you sure you want to stay?_ _It's not too late to go back and live the left you were supposed to have with McCoy. I'll still be here when you return." _

She shakes her head, "_He deserves more that what I could give him. I'm staying with you, Daddy," _she squeezes his hand. "_I'll see him again one day."_

Chris nods and smiles softly, "_Let's go home, Honey Bee." _

Andrea smiles and together they step into the next phase of their lives.


End file.
